


Like a Bludger to the Head

by Shaddyr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: firewhiskeyfic, Denial, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 12:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaddyr/pseuds/Shaddyr
Summary: Ginny's about ready to hex those two idiots into the middle of next week.





	Like a Bludger to the Head

**Author's Note:**

> My latest entry for Firewhiskeyfic. So. Much. Fun. The prompts for this edition were _Rogue Bludger_ , _Ginny Weasley_ , _Bat-Bogey Hex_ , _Eeylops Owl Emporium_ , and _Stormy Weather_. I worked in four out of five.
> 
> I won the "Least Coherent" award, or as one reader commented, the _Best use of faux-Chaucerian English in a fic_. It is a wonderful, if dubious honour. For your reading pleasure, I've cleaned up/edited it to make it coherent, but if you want to try and decipher the drunken version, you can [find it here](https://firewhiskeyfic.dreamwidth.org/23908.html).

"Sod off, Malfoy!" Harry bristled, his fingers white where they were wrapped around his broom. "That wasn't a legal move, and you know it!"

Draco sneered back from where he floated a few feet away. "You sod off! We're not in tournament! That was completely acceptable for a casual game! Ask your ex-"

"Alright, that's enough!" Ginny flew between the two of them, breaking up the squabble. She scowled at Harry and Malfoy each in turn before turning back to the other players who were hovering nearby, waiting for a decision. "Everyone take 15 then be back up here ready to play Quidditch!"

She left the lot of them in the air and flew down to where Hermione was sitting, nose in a book, and hopped off her broom.

"I swear to Merlin, I'm going to hex those two into the middle of next week if they don't cut it out!" Ginny declared dramatically as she flopped into the chair beside Hermione.

Hermione looked over at her, smile curling up one side of her mouth. "You've been playing pick-up Quidditch with them every weekend for the last six months." She slipped a marker in the pages, closed the book and set it on her lap. "You didn't honestly expect that today was going to be any different than usual, did you?"

Ginny let out a puff of air and a vain attempt to blow her fringe out of her eyes. "Not really, I guess," she admitted sullenly. "But those two need to either beat the shite out of each other or fuck one another into oblivion. I'm getting bloody tired of all the unresolved sexual tension every time things start getting heated during a game, even if it is just for fun."

Hermione choked out a laugh. "Ginny!" she tried to sound affronted, but it was difficult when she was trying not to snicker.

"What?" She stared back at Hermione, unrepentant. "You've seen them, you know I'm right! Malfoy can't stop showing off with stupid, barely legal maneuvers and Harry can't stop looking at Malfoy's arse and pulling even more dangerous stunts to one up him!" she continued over Hermione's giggles. "When they're nose to nose, shooting insults back and forth, I wish they'd just pick one - either punch or snog each other and be done with it." A sudden, disturbingly lascivious grin broke out on her face. "I'm leaning toward the snogging though. That, I wouldn't mind watching. It would be wicked hot!"

"Oh, Merlin, that was NOT something I ever needed to hear coming out of my little sister's mouth!" 

"That'll teach you to eavesdrop on a private conversation, Ron!" Ginny shot back, unperturbed. She looked back over her shoulder to where Ron was coming up behind them. "What's up?"

Ron grimaced. "Besides needing you to obliviate the last ten seconds of my life because honestly! I do not need the mental image of my best mate and the ferret in my head, I just wanted to point out that the storm we were talking about this morning seems to be rolling in." his head jerked toward the horizon and Ginny followed his gaze to see that the dark clouds they'd noticed were indeed looking more ominous and larger than they had earlier in the day.

"We might be able to get in another hour, but if it starts getting worse, we should pack it in," she said, nodding. "Merlin knows what kind of hijinks those two will get up to if we add a storm into the mix."

 

~*~*~

 

It turned out they didn't have another hour after all. 

They'd been back up in the air for all of ten minutes - with Harry and Malfoy showboating in their usual irritating and breathtaking ways - when Ginny saw the first bolt of lightning snake across the sky. "That's it, I'm calling it!" She used a sonorus to be heard by everyone. "Let's pack it up and head over--"

She didn't have a chance to finish before another bolt of lightning sizzled through the air, this one almost in the middle of the impromptu pitch. She could smell the ozone and it felt like every hair on her body was standing on end. One of the bludgers was caught in the nimbus of the strike and began to wobble unsteadily.

"Bloody, buggering - look out!" Ron yelled and flew straight into her, almost knocking her from her broom, but out of the spiralling path of what appeared to have become a rogue bludger.

She recovered her balance and she shoved Ron away. "Thanks," she said grudgingly, tracking the bludger as it whipped around, picking up speed in an every widening circle. She scanned the sky to see if everyone had come in yet and sure enough, those two idiots were still in the air, arguing about Merlin knew what.

"HARRY!" Ron yelled at the top of his voice, but the wind carried away the sound. He put his wand to his throat to cast a sonorous, but before he could do so, the bludger had looped back around and was heading straight for the two men still quarrelling in the air above them. 

Ginny saw the moment that Malfoy spotted the bludger. He jerked back on his broom and waved frantically, trying to alert Harry to the danger. Before Harry could even turn to look, Malfoy dove forward, tackling Harry so he was literally lying back on his broom, and clear of the oncoming bludger. Unfortunately for Malfoy, his shoulder was up just far enough that the bludger clipped him, hitting with enough force to knock the two of them into a spin. Harry clutched at Malfoy, trying to keep him from falling off his broom, but Malfoy slipped through his fingers.

"Shit!" Ginny yelled, casting an Arresto Momentum as Malfoy began to fall. She raced to the ground and landed gracefully a few feet away, Ron landing a moment after she did. She swung her broom over her shoulder and walked to join Harry, already kneeling beside Malfoy where he lie on the grass.

"Fuck that hurts!" Malfoy hissed through clenched teeth.

"The fuck were you thinking Malfoy!" Harry snapped at him, hostile tone belayed by the gentle way he slipped in behind Malfoy to help him sit up.

"Next time I'll just let the bludger slam into the back your enormous head, you plonker!" Malfoy gasped as he moved the wrong way, sending waves of agony radiated through his body. 

Ginny sighed. "So much for getting through a month without one of you ending up in St. Mungo's."

 

~*~*~

 

Ginny slouched into the waiting room chair. Everyone else had gone home once the Healer had assured them Draco would be fine, but as the Captain of their impromptu Quiddich league, she always felt the need to stay if one of them got hurt. And of course, Harry was still there, as he always was if it was Draco who got hurt. She watched him pace back and forth in the small space for a while, and the realized it was making her feel slightly ill. "You're making me dizzy," she complained.

He stopped pacing and frowned at her. "You don't have to stay, you know." 

She cocked and eyebrow at him. "Neither do you," she challenged. "And yet, here you are. Why is that?"

He resumed pacing. "Someone has to make sure the stupid prat gets home in one piece," he said, not looking at her. Ginny was certain she saw a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

"Right," she said nodding. "And of course, he can't be trusted to use the hospital floo-"

"-probably end up in Knocturn alley!"

"-and you couldn't possibly have the healer call his parents-"

"-so maybe I wanted to yell at him a bit more about the idiotic stunt he pulled!"

"-and it has nothing to do with the fact you spend more time during our matches watching his arse then looking for the snitch."

Harry jerked abruptly to a halt, mouth dropping open as he gaped at Ginny. "What! I - no! No, what are you talking... I... no!"

She couldn't help bit giggle as he stammered, looking halfway between wanting to throw up or pass out. She got to her feet and walked over to where he still stood, staring at her and put her hands on his shoulders. "Harry. I love you dearly. Really I do. But if I have to spend one more Saturday Quiddich game yelling at the two of you, I'm going to hex you so hard, you'll be spouting bat bogeys for weeks." She gave him a little shake. "Besides, he looks at your arse almost as often as you look at his. Why don't you just ask him out already?"

A medi-witch stepped out in toe the waiting area. "Mr. Malfoy is in the recovery room and we'll be releasing him shortly," she said. "Will one of you be accompanying him home? He'll be fine by tomorrow, but he is likely to be quite sore and might require some assistance this evening."

Ginny smirked at Harry. "Harry will be happy to give Malfoy a hand," she said in a cheery tone, then leaned in and hugged him. "Life's too short," she whispered. "Don't be a prat - ask him out already!" she repeated and then gave him a shove in the direction of the medi-witch.

As she turned on heel and left the waiting room, Ginny thought it might be time to floo Seamus and place her bet on which way it was going to go between Harry and Malfoy. Those two were about as subtle as a bludger to the head.


End file.
